Take a minute or two and examine yourself in the "glass" (James 1:23-25) 0r otherwise known as the perfect law of liberty. Also, recall your most recent conversations with your husband. Think of the way's that you showed him your love, admiration and respect. Now, think of how you have shown him disrespect. Is there anything that comes to mind that you know God would not approve of...word's, actions, etc.? Ok, now that you have done an examination of yourself are you the crown...or the rottenness? Wives, our words and actions towards our husband are very powerful! We have the power to buildup and encourage our husbands to be godly men! We also have the power to tear down and discourage them into becoming bitter, withdrawn pitiful men. Men are not made out of stone, our word and actions affect them more then most women realize. Use your "power" (word's, actions, respect) to be his crown not the rottenness in his bones. You may be saying.."but how, I can't respect him!" The answer comes from Gods word. EPHESIANS 5:24 - "Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing." We are clearly told in this passage(and for that matter, many other passages) to be subject to our husbands in all things.
Subject- under the power or control of another. that being said, our husband is our leader. If we do not have an UNCONDITIONAL respect for our husband...we are are not being subject to him because we're not acknowledging him as our leader. Your husband is NOT perfect but he was given the right by God to be your respected leader on your wedding day. Wives, no matter what condition your marriage is in, there is hope! Follow these steps towards a better stronger marriage.
- Confess your sins to God. ( disrespect, hurtful words, silent treatment, nonverbal communication, etc.)
- Ask God for wisdom and help to show him love and unconditional respect.
- Thank God for your husband. (remember God loves you and He put you two together to glorify Him. God wants you to have a good marriage and He has the power and desire to help!)
- The next time you see your husband tell him that your sorry for...(fill in the blank) and tell him "Thank you for being my husband, I just want you to know that I respect you." ( You'll not only make his day, but he'll think about what you said for weeks afterwords.)
One thing to keep in mind, when you tell that you respect him you better be ready to tell him reasons why. So try, before you talk to him, to think of at least three reasons why you respect him. (do not say..."because God wants me too!") Here are a few ideas to get you started..
- the way he gets up to go to work to provide for you and the family
- his daily devotion time with God each day
- the way he is a good father to the kids
- he helps you do the dishes, laundry,etc.
- the way he helps others in the church, neighbors,family, etc.
- the way he always remembers to...(fill in the blank)
- how he spruces up so nice for work or church.
- praise him for being good in his chosen field.
- the times when he respond right to trials in his life.
The key is to focus on the good about him. Your going down a downhill spiral when you continually think on the bad. Remember you have alot more power in your words then you know. I challenge you to use your words to be the crown to your husband and not the rottenness in his bones!
-A fellow wife,